Happy New Year 2023! What I Learned About Being Self-ish in 2022

Since 2016 the energies, planets, Universe have all lined up to bring us the “Age of the Malignant Narcissist “. They came out of the wood work following a leader who was the embodiment of it. They had a support team hungry with power. Their sole purpose was to destroy safeguards, rules and laws to enrich themselves no matter what harm they caused to others. It had been building for a few decades. Selfishness beyond belief.

MALIGNANT = definition, adjective , disposed to cause harm, suffering, or distress deliberately; feeling or showing ill will or hatred, very dangerous or harmful in influence or effect.

  1. tending to produce death, as bubonic plague.
  2. (of a tumor) characterized by uncontrolled growth; cancerous, invasive, or metastatic.

Source: dictionary.com

Millions have died due to the cruelty of these malignant leaders and their followers. I understood how such a thing could happen in this day and age. Decades of corporate greed and planned infiltration and deregulation of our government and media caused much sickness, fear and anger.

I wanted to help. I wanted to change things for the better. I deplore seeing people suffer. I was allowing outside anger to frustrate and stress me out daily. My hair literally started falling out in chunks in 2020 as I watched 500,000 people unnecessarily pass from covid and babies being kidnapped at the border among other crimes committed by our own leaders at that time!

I had to pull myself back and remember the voices of my mentors, intuition, and even flight attendants, “If you don’t have your health, nothing else matters”. On the airplane , “put the air mask on yourself FIRST” so you can then be of help to others. I knew all these things for decades but the pain and cruelty on such a large scale was almost too much to endure. I realized it was time to go inward. It was time to get hold of myself and my well being. Time to get hold of my thoughts and feelings and be more “self-ish” in the most positive way possible. I wanted to stay healthy in order to be of service using my gifts of music and communication to hopefully uplift, inspire and empower others to do the same. It was time to get selfish in a whole different way.


Selfish has a negative connotation in most people’s minds. I’ve given it a new one with the addition of a hyphen, self-ish! Years ago I started realizing that being self-ish was the best way to describe a path to my clients (and myself!), for better health in body, mind and spirit.

I began to give it a more honored place in my vocabulary. Being self-ish to me now means to take care of myself FIRST. To be sure I’m seeing to my own health above all else. Putting health at number one on my list of values.

VALUES = definition – ones judgement of what’s most important to them in their lives

This doesn’t mean to ignore all else. It means Me first, so that I can then in turn help you if I’m able. I need to rest right now so I’ll find another way or time to help with this or that later. Being self-ish means to take time to nurture ourselves doing things that make us feel good, happy, joyful.

How do we do that?

  1. Meditate – just sit and listen to your breathing, or put on your favorite relaxation or affirmation mp3, or think about things that used to make you happy when you were young/ think about recent things that’ve made you happy. Each day sit for 5 – 15mins and try all of the above.
  2. Make a list and start doing more of those things you meditated on !
  3. Make a conscious effort to think more positive thoughts and solutions and less time criticizing and worrying. Thoughts are things and energy! What you think attracts & causes similar reactions to happen.
  4. Acknowledge problems or as I like to say ” challenges ” and then go in to solution mode. Try it! It’s actually more fun solving problems than it is being angry and stressing over them.
  5. Remember that by meditating and going within and learning about ourselves, changing those negative thoughts, behaviors and old habits that are no longer helping us, we can change what’s happening in our lives on the outside.
  6. We can have good health and what ever else we want and need not by changing the world, but by changing ourselves.

In 2022 I started being more self-ish in the most positive way possible. I started focusing in more on my needs and desires and stopped worrying about things out of my control at the time. It’s funny because I’m always so busy, but not only did I find the time and get more organized, but I accomplished more. My social media posts were more positive and more about Me, who I was and what I loved to do, what made me happy. I still posted about global and national issues but now it was more about Me. That didn’t come naturally to me by the way. It still takes effort. It felt like bragging, which as a child I was told by nuns was very bad. I’m almost over it now that I know it was a form of oppression and silencing creative, resistant voices.

When I did that people started noticing, and more jobs came my way. I didn’t book any of them. They all found me and in perfect order for the place I was in mentally and physically at the time! The Universe only sends us what it knows we can handle. One client said that after searching many other Instagram pages the energy he felt from my page is what inspired him to hire me. They were wonderful , loving, positive people, and it was a beautiful event! Like attracts Like !

By being more self-ish, nurturing and taking care of “self ” first, so that we can then be of service to others when we’re able, keeps us in the best of health. When we’re in the best of health, body, mind and spirit we shine. When we shine we attract others who are positive and who want to be a part of your positive light, or include you in theirs.

Happy New Year!

Wishing YOU Your brightest, most self-ish, positive, beautiful Year ever !





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